Life Leadership When There Is No Blueprint

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You see lots of business blueprints for sale. For some of us, there is no blueprint, there are no rules. We are creating our paths by walking them.

In a recent conversation with a client, she was sharing her frustration with what she called, "a series of unfortunate events." It was the sort of thing that happens in life -- and this client, we'll call her Michelle, wasn't really down on herself. However, these events had shaken her confidence in the way she was redesigning her life.

That is often the way life unfolds. That's part of what makes it so interesting. The thing is, transforming yourself from a traditional academic, or angst-ridden to musician, compulsive people-pleasing mom, or corporate cog in the wheel into someone who creates success on her own terms, requires a big intention and enormous energy.

So, you may want to be a part of our discussion of what is means to really be the creative and effective leader in your own life. The word "creative" relates to the ability to respond, rather than simply reacting to unfortunate events.

Here are 19 ways you can know if you're the authentic leader of your own life, rather than merely a participant in it.

1. You love your life, even when the dirt comes up in response to the seeds you've planted. Even when you're not sure what you're doing, if you'll ever make it or going without any recognition from your peers. (BTW, hiring a coach can help you big time to get through the tough days.)

2. You don't cancel your hair appointment when you get hit with an unexpected expense. No one else is taking care of you. 

3. You've taught everyone in your circle of influence how they may speak to you. You are surprised when you hear how other people go through screaming tirades or subject themselves in a any way to disrespectful communication.

4. You have plenty of time and space for yourself. You take personal days when you need them, or even when you want them. They're essential for your emotional and spiritual well-being.

5. You know that inside every personal weakness, there lies the potential for your greatest contribution. That helps you stay kind to yourself, when you slip into a bad habit.

6. You make requests, rather than complaints. You're well aware that complaining simply reinforces whatever it is you're complaining about.

7. You take extremely good care of your body. Some say you're obsessive about it but you know it's vital for your well-being.

8. You listen to your heart's desires. Even when your head is screeching about how unpractical it is to be different.

9. You know what makes you happy. Even those tacky preferences, like hot sauce on scrambled eggs or reading the National Enquirer.

10. You take vacations, the kind where it's not about visiting family. Even a good stay-cation works.

11. You delegate a lot because you're not trying to prove that you're indispensable..

12. You invest in yourself consistently.

13. You practice observing people and situations without rushing to judge them. (I love Mother Teresa's saying, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them.)

14. You're confident that things work out for the best. Eventually.

15. You create wealth, you don't try to "get" from other people. You know better than to trust the company who's managing your 401-K. You're constantly raising your financial IQ.

16. You forgive everyone, including yourself. You forgive and release, and repeat as often as necessary.

17. Your relationships don't drain you.

18. You are more likely to say "no" than to say "yes" to things. (In other words, if it's not something you KNOW you want to be,do or have, you simply say "no.")

19. You LOVE being decisive! Even though it feels scary. Which ones of these speaks to you? Where have you seen the best results in your own life?

Read more of Laura's intelligent encouragement at

Laura Camacho, PhD

Laura, a former academic, is now a writer and director of Mixonian Institute ( ), where we take a fun approach to serious life leadership skills. Her communication and marketing expertise help her coach clients from academia, the music industry and other fields reposition themselves for greater profitability and more fun.

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